Friday, December 23, 2011

Seriously... (that's the censored version of what I really what to say)

I've been putting off making a post because frankly there was nothing to report and it was depressing!  Well, now I have something to report and it's still depressing!  Had I done this post yesterday, after reading the lastest updates on the Korean Program, there would have been a lot of bleeping bleeps so I contained myself and waited until today once I'd calmed down a little!!!

Yesterday, around 4:30ish we got two emails.  The first more shitty news, I'll go into detail in a minute on that, and the second a Well Baby Check on Ty.  The WBC stated that he is walking, playing catch, says Mama, waves bye-bye, takes off his socks, scribbles, and imitates speech amoung a few things.  He now weighs 23.9 lbs. which puts him in the 50th percentile and 31 inches long.  Imagine learning all that about your 16th month old child and then being informed that the wait to get him continues and the process is harder...Seriously!
The program update basically stated there will be two children from Bethany released to the Korean Ministry the 1st of January and those families have been notified.  You guessed it, we weren't notified!  It was the first time in this whole process I lost it.  I immediately got on the phone and called our case worker.  Poor Pat, she listened to me go off!  She then had to tell me that unfortunately she will no longer be our caseworker, for good reasons, and then consoled me.  She gave me some good advise which we put into action today!

Let me go back a little, Here is exactly what the update said...

Hello Korea Families:

We are happy to provide you with another update in the South Korea Program. To be addressed in this message are: Ministry Approvals, Changes in the South Korea Adoption Process, and a December Update.

RE : Ministry Submissions/Approvals:
We are pleased to report that two BCS families will be among the first families submitted to the Ministry in January. These families have already been notified. While this is good news for two families, we know that other families continue to wait patiently for their documents to be submitted. DJ (BCS's assigned social worker) and Holt have shared again that it is not an easy decision making process in who is submitted first, and there are many variables that go into the decision. The variables include: child's health status, Korean heritage families, date of acceptance documents, date of visa approval, foster family's status, adoptive parents age. Progress is a good thing, and we will continue to notify families as we learn the plan for their submission to the Ministry. We are thankful to our Father for the new year, and the continued processing of paperwork. If you have any concerns on this topic, please do candidly share.

RE : Changes in the South Korea Adoption Process:
The adoption law is changing in South Korea. Adoption cases will soon be finalized in the Courts in South Korea and ALL families (both parents) will be required to travel. Holt has also advised that for families who are matched but are not able to travel before June 2012, that these families will also be required to travel to Korea. This new requirement will only affect a few Bethany families, as approximately two years ago we made the Bethany policy change to require adoptive parents to travel to Korea.

Re: December Update:
So far in December Bethany families have received two referrals. We have two families remaining in August & September of 2009 that are waiting for referrals; and 35 active families with home studies in Korea, 6 of which had home studies completed in 2009. Four more children returned home in December, with a total of 40 children joining their adoptive families this year. Praise the Lord and continued prayers for all the children and families who are waiting out the adoption process in 2012.

Wishing you all the best this holiday season, and looking forward with anticipation for joys of the New Year!

Okay, here's what get's Chris and I.  The variablies they take into consideration when choosing children to be released to the Ministry (child's health status, Korean heritage families, date of acceptance documents, date of visa approval, foster family's status, adoptive parents age) are mostly variables we will never meet!  Seriously, when we started this program they knew we weren't Korean and never would be!  Oh, and sorry we are adopting a healthy child (he won't be if you hold him there long enough, he'll be emotionally damaged!) Let's see, forgive us because we are only in our late 30's, I guess we should have started this process when we were closer to 50!  Need I go on or can you sense my frustration with this craziness!?!

This morning Chris and I had a conference call with our new case worker, who is also the program director out of our local Bethany office.  She didn't have much more to share with us because the District Program director from Grand Rapids who communitates directly with Holt in Korea is on vacation until Jan 3rd (we also put a call into her today and expect to talk with her on the 3rd when she returns)  What she was able to tell us is that we are the longest waiting family out of our local Bethany office waiting for submission to the Ministry...Yippee we meet one of the variables!  I asked her a question I have been dreading to ask but finally did, "Is it a matter of if we get Ty or when we get him?"  Her answer was a relief, she said it when not will get him! 

So there are a lot of unanswered questions at this point.  When will we be submitted and travel, will it be an American adpotion or will we be required to go throught the court system in Korea, and when will you stop changing the rules?  This is one of the most frustrating processes I have ever gone through.  It's just not fair to start something so huge and meaningful in your life under one set of rules and guidelines only to have all those changed various times throughout the process (hasn't Korea ever heard of the Grandfather Clause?)  Don't we teach our kids to play by the rules?... Why can't competent adults do the same!?!

I guess this is where I say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Let's just hope 2012 is our year, and sooner rather than later!

Here's some pics of Libby Lu...